Title: Our Budgies (1/1)
Author: mizz_destiny
Rating: PG
Summary: “He turned the head of Atlantis in to a parakeet?”
Warnings: extreme crack!fic. PWP? and all jo_zed_pee_em (and her mum's) fault. see her post


“Oh my God! What is wrong with you?!” McKay bellowed across the Gateroom.

Major Sheppard jumped to his feet and had crossed the room before the echoes had diminished. Upon reaching McKay’s side though he stopped short. “Um...?” he asked.

McKay shot him a withering look before returning his attention to the tan garbed scientist. “You bumbling idiot!! What possessed you to turn on an untested piece of technology in the Gateroom?!” his voice rose painfully at the end. “Major! I insist that you throw this nincompoop in the brig and throw away the key!”

“What happened McKay?” Sheppard asked, trying to process the scene.

McKay opened his mouth to answer but then closed it again. Much like a fish he worked his mouth but nothing came out.

Sheppard ground out tersely, “McKay!” McKay looked far too worried and shocked for Sheppard’s taste.

Finally McKay swallowed and pointed at the scientist “This idiot,” his hand swept over to the two birds sitting on the table, “turned Elizabeth and Peter in to budgies.”

Sheppard’s brain couldn’t quite comprehend McKay’s statement. “Budgies?” he stuttered out.

“A type of parrot,” Zelenka supplied from his seat on the floor next to the presumably Ancient device.

“I know that! But how - ?”

“Simple. He touched it!” McKay snapped out.

“Elizabeth and Peter?” Sheppard asked, just for clarification.

“Yes.”

“He turned the head of Atlantis in to a parakeet?”

“Yes!” McKay snapped again.

“Fix it!” Sheppard snapped back. He turned to the cowering un-named scientist “And I suggest you get out of here before -” But he didn’t have time to complete his threat before the scientist fled. Sheppard turned back to McKay. “You’d better put him in detention after this is fixed.”

McKay snorted. “If Elizabeth doesn’t get him first.”

Both men turned to the birds on the table. One of them had puffed up its feathers and had begun preening for the other bird’s benefit. But he (she?) wasn’t paying an attention and in fact was trying (awkwardly) to fly away.

“Radek?” McKay asked.

“Almost, give me…” Radek trailed off, fiddling with the machine.

“My great-aunt had a parrot. It smelled. And gave me the creeps.” Sheppard said idly. Rodney nodded.

“Stand back!” Zelenka ordered. He pressed a button on the machine. And disappeared in a squawk of feathers.

“Swell.” Sheppard said. “And the week was going so well.”